I was tastin’ the soup two hours after I et it.

Several months ago, Dixie noted that when each of our children was born I had some kind of weird hair going on: with Madeline I had a jazz goatee and with Luke my hair was long. What, she asked, are you going to have this time? Maybe, said I, I’ll grow a beard. And that’s exactly what I did.

The baby is now born, so the beard comes off. For your viewing pleasure, I present, The Beard: A Shaving Pictorial:


The Beard:


The old-school. I think it’s called an “Imperial moustache”. To keep a moustache like this, I’d need a stuffy name like Lord George Beauchamps, Earl of Sussex or something along those lines:


The moustache. When Madeline saw this moustache, she said I looked like “a person who serves food”—it seemed like a wonderfully generic association for her to make, but I guess she got the idea from The Little Mermaid or something. I think there is something distinctly Clouseau-ish about my moustache; most of you, however, will think there is something distinctly pervert-ish about it:

I also took a picture of me and my moustache with Olivia, but it’s too disturbing to post.

I liked the beard—it looked good and, once I got past the rip-it-off-my-face itchy phase, I quite enjoyed having it. I shall grow a beard again some day. Maybe next winter.

(A star goes to the person who correctly identifies the movie quote in the title, preferrably without cheating.)

10 thoughts on “I was tastin’ the soup two hours after I et it.

  1. Simon

    I have no idea where that quote is from, and my non-cheating gene prevents me from getting on The Google to find out.

    What I did use The Google for is to show you a picture of who you REALLY look like in that second Earl of Sussex shot. The instant I scrolled down that far, I was all like, dude, that’s Lawrence from Office Space!


    Ya see?

    I’m also thinking a little Clouseau for that last one.

  2. Randall


    I think with “Old School” you could cut the hair between the bottom of your moustache and the start of your sideburns, get a oversized wallet chained to your belt, and start driving truck for a living.


  3. Marc

    And the movie was Unforgiven. Little Bill says it to English Bob, after Bob notices that Bill has “shaved off his whiskers”.

    No stars for anyone.

  4. Ange

    Sorry Marc, but I think your “imperial style” look is actually more of the child-molester-who-drive-the-brown-van-with-the-dark-bubble-windows type of look. And the mustache look is more middle-aged-cop look. But I do like the beard, but then I’m very partial to beards, they have such a dad look. Congrats on the new baby girl!

  5. Collette

    Randall, nope my ex is Canadian, German, and Ukrainain. but he’s been to Amsterdam more than once…. hm. I wonder if he kept dragging me there for some reason other than the beauty and history of the city….

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