Friday is for packages

I will now regale you with a tale of a recent Amazon purchase. 

Several weeks ago I was putting together a modest order for myself at  However, when I reached the checkout portion of the ordering process, I was delighted to discover that we had a significant amount of unused credit.  To my recollection, Dixie and I had both used up our gift certificates on Amazon, but I guess memory is a funny thing.

Our package arrived in the mail today:

1.  For me, a book and a DVD: The Children of Hurin, the new book by J.R.R. Tolkien, “painstakingly” compiled and edited by his son Christopher and The Wrong Guy, the hilarious (and inexpensive) Dave Foley film.

FUN FACT: The Wrong Guy is, I think, a bit of a cult classic film.  The studio went belly up shortly after The Wrong Guy was filmed.  When the studio was resurrected, the executives didn’t think it was worth spending the money on getting it into theatres, so it premiered as an in-flight movie.

2.  For Dixie, two books: In Praise of Slow and The Return of the Prodigal Son, by Henri Nouwen

Dixie and I have similar taste in books.  She found both of these on my wishlist, so I will enjoy them as well.

Incidentally, there’s a blurb on the front cover of In Praise of Slow that calls it “…the No Logo of its age…”   I found this funny, because No Logo is less than 10 years old.  Since when do ages last less than a decade?  Is No Logo already outdated and from a different age altogether?

3.  For Madeline, a DVD: Barbie and the Twelve Dancing Princesses.

She has seen this movie before and she loved it.

4.  For Olivia two board books: Olivia Counts and Olivia’s Opposites

For those of you who think we’re trying to be cute, I assure you that we have been reading the original, award-winning Olivia (the book) since before Olivia (the child) was conceived.  It’s one of the children’s books that Dixie and I both enjoy.  And it’s also cute.

What about Luke? some of you are probably wondering.  I’ll tell you: nothing.  Luke gets diddly-squat.  He is now the middle child and will be promptly forgotten.

I’m kidding.  Only minutes after the Amazon package was opened, Luke was already holding aloft Barbie and the Twelve Dancing Princesses and saying, “Show?”  And Olivia doesn’t read, does she?  I’m sure Luke will have enjoyed hours of tearing the Olivia books (the books!) to shreds before Olivia (the person) gets her hands on them.  Luke will get his share.  Actually, I think the books are for all of the kids, in celebration of Olivia-the-person’s arrival.

Speaking of Olivia (the person), when I was collecting Madeline from preschool the other day, one of the other parents turned to me and asked me a question:

“What did you have?” She meant, of course, “What is the gender of the baby whom your wife recently birthed?”—not, as some of you may have supposed, “What did you have for lunch today?”.

I replied, “A girl.  A little girl.”  Because, you see, “little” is a necessary clarification, as people might otherwise be under the impression that Dixie had given birth to a gargantuan child who, had she remained in the womb any longer, would have burst from Dixie’s belly in a manner similar to—but grander than—that infamous Aliens scene.

And, finally, packages are fun and exciting only up to the instant they have been opened.  After that, it’s a bit of a let down.

4 thoughts on “Friday is for packages

  1. Anonymous

    What is this “In Praise of Slow”? And Marc, you are hilarious! Write a book! You will promptly forget Luke now that he is the middle child. Genius.

  2. Scott

    Sorry, I forgot to fill in the info in the boxes above. The comment above this one is from me…

  3. Kelly

    Love The Wrong Guy. We should watch it together sometime. Especially love the I’ll jump from the ridiculous amount of blood he gets on himself and the scene where he threatens to jump from the tower. Dave Foley isn’t in enough films.

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