Some Larks

It has been a couple of months since I read Lark News.  Here are a couple of good ones (and remember, folks, this is satire):

After 50 years in pulpit, retired pastor finally has a beer

After stepping down from the pastorate last month after fifty years in ministry, Albert Finley did something no one expected: he had his first beer.

“I was curious what it actually tasted like, after all these years of preaching against it,” he says.

The results?

“What a marvelous drink,” he says. “It tastes much better than it smells.”

The Sierra Nevada Pale Ale he chose delivered “surprisingly complex and satisfying tastes.”

“I actually said ‘Praise God’ right in the middle of it,” he says. . . (Read the rest)

and

Heart attack victim goes unnoticed at Pentecostal revival

In the midst of a “Holy Spirit” revival meeting at Full Gospel Temple Saturday night, Barry Munrow, 58, suffered a heart attack and went unnoticed for three hours because dozens of people were “slain in the Spirit” around him.

. . . as a result of the incident, Dilbeck is adding a crew of “life signs” ushers to work revival meetings alongside regular “catchers” and “modesty cloth drapers.” Life signs ushers will carry small mirrors to check if “slain” people are breathing, and they have permission to gently feel for a pulse, if someone appears to be dead.

“We want people to meet with God at our meetings, but not face to face,” he says. (Read the whole thing)

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