*The E & C Presents*: Classic* Film Dialogue (III)

Today’s feature:  The 1989 John Hughes comedy Uncle Buck, starring the loveable and always funny John Candy.

Story: Cindy Russell’s father has just had a heart attack, so she and her husband, Bob, must leave their children ?  the twins, Miles and Maizy, and bitter and troubled teenager Tia ? in someone’s care while they go to her father.  As no one suitable is available, they have no choice but to call on Bob’s lazy, out of work, unambitious, commitment-phobic brother, Buck (John Candy).

Notes:  I belong to that portion of my generation (X and Y, I guess) that derives a great amount of pleasure from quoting films and TV shows, and  Uncle Buck was where it all started for me.  Before I ever saw the perennially quotable This is Spinal Tap, So I Married an Axe Murderer, “The Simpsons“, and “Seinfeld” (even before some of them existed), and to a lesser degree “The Kids in the Hall” and “Saturday Night Live“, my friend “Nubby” and I were quoting Uncle Buck almost daily.  As a matter of fact, at one point I had all of John Candy’s significant lines memorized.  So you can expect this film to show up more than once.

Scene:  Buck Russell and his girlfriend, Chanice Kobolowski, are sitting in a non-descript diner.  They are discussing Buck’s new job ? which he is reluctant to start ? and her desire to settle down and start a family with him.

Chanice: OK, Buck: I love you ?  I can’t help myself.  I wanna get married; I wanna have a family; I wanna do it with you.  But, you know, the clock is ticking away here.  I just want to hear the pitter-patter of tiny feet before I die.

Buck:  I’ll get you a mouse and a…piece of sheet metal. [chuckles the John Candy chuckle]

Classic.  John Candy is, for me, one of a few actors (along with Tom Hanks) that makes any movie, no matter how crappy, worth watching.

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* Disclaimer: these films are not  necessarily classic; The Academy or Ebert & Roeper would not, in all likelihood, give them their stamp of approval.  It is the dialogue that is classic, and only in my estimation.

6 thoughts on “*The E & C Presents*: Classic* Film Dialogue (III)

  1. Toni

    Curiously enough I can actually recognise this one. Think I saw it on TV one Christmas at someone’s house.

    My fave bit is where he comments on the head’s ‘growth’. Offers to bite it off for $5 and save them the money of private surgery. Good humoured menace or what?

  2. Marc

    Toni, you almost got it. You’re thinking of the right movie and one of its most memorable scenes, but it didn’t go down quite that way.

    The school principal, Anita Hoargarth, has an enormous mole on her chin. Plus she’s an overly stern task-master with the elementary school kids. Buck tears a strip out of her (after initially being quite kind and timid) and then he flicks a quarter onto her desk and says: “Here’s a quarter; go into town and get a rat to gnaw that thing off your face. Good day to you, Madam.” It’s a classic scene and may show up in this feature in the future. Thanks for bringing it up.

  3. Vanderwife

    Damn *The E & C Presents*: Classic* Film Dialogue!

    I get down to the computer and think my husband has left his wife a nice love note to encourage me on my day at home with a sick, whiny two year old. Then I look at the bottom and I see something about “a mouse and some sheet metal”.

    Oh well, the dillusion was fun while it lasted. (That’s what I get for skimming my “first ever” love note from my husband.)

  4. Marc

    Wha?? What did I do?

    Scotty: That’s possibly my favourite quote from the movie (that whole sequence) — certainly the one I’ve quoted most. It’ll probably turn up sometime here.

    PS. Dixie called me. I guess had scribbled the Uncle Buck dialogue on a piece of paper and left it by the computer desk. Dixie saw Chanice’s lines in my handwriting…

    Note to self: write Vanderwife a love note.

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